I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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