She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
