He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
