I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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