Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
