I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
