Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
