yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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