So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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