i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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