so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
