that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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