her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
