I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
