Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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