i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
