I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
