She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
