Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
