I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
