I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
