I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
