What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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