I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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