my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
