i don't like sucking hair
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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