My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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