Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
