angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
