I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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