tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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