I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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