you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
