Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
