dude i'm inner monologue high
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
