think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
