i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
