I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Randomize
