2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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