I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
