i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize