what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
