A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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