My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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