I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize