I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
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Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I want to fling myself into the sun
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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