he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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