i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I touched a dick in church today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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