just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
