yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize