were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
