did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
someone owes me an orgasm
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
