Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
How does it feel to date your dad?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
