grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
