well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
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I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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