Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
