you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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