happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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