I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
As shirtless as possible
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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