Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
