Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
