He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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