Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
