Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
